Gabrielle Rockson

Well, it has been a long time since I’ve sat down and typed in this open journal, but as always I seem to get inspiration at the end of one year and the beginning of another.

So recently I’ve been really meditating on how far I’ve come in life. Obviously I’m still very young, so haven’t gone that far lol, but I was just thinking about things I used to struggle with and how I no longer struggle with those things and things I’ve accomplished in this past year; quite honestly I couldn’t be more proud of who God has moulded me into and who He is moulding me to be.

Okay, so I’m going to be really transparent here, because I believe it’s going to help someone else, even if it’s just 1.

I started having body image issues at the age of 9. I would search up ‘how to lose weight quickly’ or ‘thinspiration’, which have very unhealthy images! I felt like I was so chubby even though I wasn’t at all. I started working out seriously at the age of 12 and not for the right reasons. I was idolising a body that I felt I needed to achieve because I thought my body wasn’t good enough. I was so desperate that I would wake up early before school so I could go and exercise. I clearly had body dysmorphia because when I look back at photos, I was slim! I didn’t feel pretty, I was really self conscious, cared about what people thought of me and was just an overall insecure person, who didn’t know who she was. No one outside my family would have known this, as of course a smile and ‘I’m fine, thank you’ can cover up a lot.

Fast forward many years later, I’m a strong, bold and beautiful young woman, who’s found her identity in God and wouldn’t want to be any other human being on the planet. Who do I thank for this transformation? Of course, my God. As I’ve grown closer to God throughout the years, I’ve watched Him show me my identity and transform me into a woman of purpose. I’ve grown to love the traits, quirks and personality He has given me. I’ve grown to love the face, features and body He carved me with. I’ve grown to love me.

Even entering my second year at Uni has been great: the grown independence, taking bold steps towards my career and making sure I live a life of obedience to God. I love going to the gym and I now have a healthy relationship with fitness, as it’s no longer about a body type, it’s just about a healthy lifestyle. I love my journey and I’m constantly being moulded into a greater me.

I say this to encourage us to be more proud of our progress in life! Look back and see how far you’ve come! Remember your struggle! Whether it’s the time you didn’t know how you were going to get through your academics and here you are working in your chosen profession, or whether you had a period where you were lost and stagnant, but now that’s in the past, or maybe you know you used to be a horrible person, but today you’re kind and friendly … WHATEVER IT IS, look back, see how far you’ve come, be proud of who you are and be proud of who you’re becoming.